Its A Sad Life, Isnt It ?

Staying and work at home for now 1 week, seeing how my mom spending her day, isnt it sad ?
Sleep, wake up, eat, sleep, listen music, day pass, get older without anything to do that mean a lot.

Everytimes I looking back again, it was quiet sad.
I never really make her happy, and now that she suffer Alzheimer desease, which is a cruel sickness, there is nothing I can do for her, and I also not as good as I am.

In the age of 34, still looking for work, still trying to find the meaning of life and live like this. I am ashame for everything that I do, and I really wish that I can do better, even hope to turn back time that I know never happen.

Wake up, waiting food, sitting all day.
Eat, sleep, and repeat without doing anything good.
I think at that point, I may be a worse kid ever.

Everyday mom asking me to go out with her, which I am bit sad because I cant do it either.
Wanna do something meaningful, but seem like I fail again and again.
What is the purpose of life then ?

Isnt it sad ?
Or it was a test that I need to pass ?