What Do I Want ?

Time surely pass so quick, and now is already July.
Back into this field, working in same things and make many sins, I dont even know what do I want at all, and it bit sad, actually.

Working in this field, I didnt proud at all and hate myself, but this is a life.
Watching over mom while working, and luck for me that brother somehow buy the macbook that make me can work at home in the end.

If the work need me to be back, what should I do by then ?
Too sad to leave mom, but too stress to keep being staying still.
Am I gonna do it well in here ?

I just wish that slowly, I can earn maybe $50 in a day, and fix what I been doing wrong little by little as much as I can.
Not sure, but I just wish that I can really pass the hardness and become the more better me.
I dont want to keep repeating what I been doing wrong.

Gonna be a long day and run, and I just hope in the end, I can fix it and be the better me.
Is that what I really want ?
Life is so tired.