New Years Begin with Same Sadness

Happy new years for me !
My 2nd years spending alone, but the different is I am in Cambodia, not my own hometown.
Well, being far aways, serve time and try to enjoy,
I know that I am gonna survive it.

I buy my ankle bracelet for 110.000 Riel, and I using it. I use my white shirt after 4 month here, mean I wanna start my 2026 with joy and new hope. Wish when I done working here, I wouldnt come back as scammer as well.

She pick my number, but now all the feeling is less and less. I decided not to care about anything and anyone at all. Also, I already send HBD to Lyn, which she only read and nothing else. What gonna happen in future ? Am I gonna get roommate sooner ? Nobody really know about anything at all. So, I just spend time, working as best as I can to get client and not do overtime as well.

Plus, if I can get bonus, I will save up. For this month, I gonna buy myself iphone. And stick to the plan for the rest. I know it is what I want, not what I need. But I will do selfcare and only love myself until the very end. Wish this years can be the last years that I am missrable. You can love me, or hate me, because I am actually not care at all.

I went back after take a quick break, seeing her standing and look in her phone and smile. She maybe had someone special already. The person that a man, and not in here as well. So, now is 2026, I am gonna forget her and stick my life into a plan for what I am gonna do, and what I will do when I finish contract in here.

Make myself busy, not thinking too much as well. What is gonna happen next, I am wondering. May God bless everything, and all is well. If someone good for me, they will be for me. And if there is no, then it would be never happen as well.

Put the trash in trash can, I am not longer keeping everything in my head. Just ignore, live my life and think they are not exist. In that way, I can more relax.

3 time since I start work today, she pick my number. Well, I think because she dont wanna get fine, so she just pick it as quick as she can, I mean reply client. The last one that she send, its been hold almost 30 minute, or maybe more. And its feel like she had bf already and normal.

So, I just keep myself healthy, safe until as plan in September 15. Wish everything will be OK, save up, buy the fuck things I wanted and went back home. If I had someone in my birthday, I would be very thankful. But, if I am not, it is also OK for me as well.

Am I gonna work overtime because not had client ?
I am wondering. I think the best choices is I will buy iphone 15, 128gb when come to Indo, will pay tax after $500 reduces. It is around $600+, and I wish I can pay a little tax by it. But, the phone has no box ? Seriously ?

Anyways, I am still not talking with Lyn since the day of that fucking gay do. Wish that I can spend all the time well and went back with money as I plan in pin post. Haha
Today not get any round, and these day I chat a lot with GPT and some of my Indo friend. Wish that I can save well, do well too.

In this life, especially in scam company, all I can wish is I can do well, spend everyday well, and went back with the new me, with money and not debts anymore. Wish today gonna be pass as well as I can wish. More ignore, write it all down., Share whatever it is with GPT, and get rid of it.

I wish that I can do well, be well, and get back as a new me. Still didnt had roomie, wish I can stay some more month without roomie as well.

I am wondering why I keep seeing in her, haha
But, its seem she do better and maybe already had BF as well. She not giving any sign or look want to talk with me either. Today, finally she send me a client, even just 1, at least everyday she start to send me client, not ignore or avoiding me. Yesterday, 3 of her client no come at all. At this rate, I think I am gonna work over time, Haha . . . .

Lately, she like to play phone behind me while take break in working hours. Maybe, just maybe.. She had a BF ?
I dont know, but well, now I am not talking or even start a personal chat since that gay things problem. Just talk with GPT, and looking at her until the day that I am back.

What else can I do then ? There is nothing I can do.
So, keep sane, buy the shit that I want, save up and follow the plan and survive. I need to go back as I am, not the broken me.