Hope This is Last Time

When I just think my life getting better after I can earn well everyday, I just losing it all again in 1 day, and that day is today.
Not only that, I also losing another $92 when I exchange, which make me completely losing all $600 and here I am, asking Merry again for help.

She is mad, which I think it is normal to be mad.
A word is bit rude, but I do hope, really hope that I didnt make any mistake again, and I dont want to keep borrowing money just to try get some.

There is stil 9 people life, and the amount is big.
My salary isnt really good, which I also know that the work is not a good work.
Just trying to get some extras, but seem like I fail and had a lot of debt now.

I hate what I am doing, and really hope that this is the last time I doing this kind of shit, because it felt like never end.
I dont know, I am being naive, and think that I can retired before 40, and all I can see is I get nowhere for the last 6 years and now about to reach 7 years.

Living as a failure person, I am so ashame of my life.
I keep thinking about ending it, but seem like God is very good to me, maybe there is many things I need to pay in future, I dont know.

I am so tired of living like this, and I do hope this is really the last time.
last time of asking anyone to help me….

God, I felt like I am very dumb and really didnt know which ways I should take.
Can I really get out from all of this debt things in the end of years ?

I really want to start 2027 with joy and no debt to anyone.
And I know, everyone scare of me.

I hope, really hope that this is the last time this circle keep repeating.
If I didnt stop it, then there is nothing that gonna change in my life.