I got the space in PAM, and I wish that I can really sell well in 3 day because there is my only chances. This morning, I am losing another half and I think, at this rate, I am not gonna be able to pay motorcycle right on time. Also, I wish that there is no problem when my dad boss come back.
I promises myself, this is must be a last time I am take some cash from there. Somehow I just know maybe dad know but pretend to not knowing about it. Isnt it sad, as a adult and growing woman, I am mess up much and dont know what I am gonna do in this life anymore.
If I look into my old picture, I miss the old me, but more I surviving, more I know that the past is in the past. So easy to ruin a life. Beg everyone, and last night, I decided to send messages to everyone that help me, wish for their understanding. Some of them reply kindly, some of them just not.
I really wish, that I can get through this life. I hope that I can get done with this mess, have a chance to make parent proud too. Wish nothing more than that. Can make a book about how this strunggle end, how life teach me a lesson, and how God rescue me from this darkness.
Today also the last time that I am sending chat to O, I know that she wouldnt help me but I just dare myself to sending her messages. I am wish nothing anymore, because I know that God really love me more and help me a lot. I got a space in PAM, I am far away from some people who hate me.
What’s more that I wishing except that I can get through all of this ?
It will be late for paying motorcycle, but I hope that Friday, I can pay it. Just wish that I can sell well and make some money on it.
What is gonna happen next ?
I dont know, because I have no idea about it.
Just trust in God, walking with Him is not easy but more I strunggle, more he teach me a value lesson.
I wish that what I am doing from 28 to 32 will never be repeating anymore.
I wish, this is the last time I am do some begging. Hope that every month have a PAM, so at least I can get some income to make this life keep living.
What is wonder me is, when I dont know where to get some money, there is a email that say my Kredivo have a little upgrade limit. Isnt it something ?
I am also able to take it to Dana a little, and here I am, experience something that I am never expected before.
