I hate this life, because of what I am doing. I wanna to fix a things, but I keep doing the same mistake over and over again. Lets today be the last day I am begging people, and I dont know what next, but I know there is always a good lesson inside everything.
I have nothing left, and all I can hope is that I can sell well in 3 day. I am not paying motorcycle, which due today, and I have nobody anymore. Its kinda feel good when I am sending a chat to everyone that I owe, hope I can repay them this years.
I truly cant imagine what is happen when here is no PAM. I have no money left, nothing. This time, I only can hope that God show me a better way to rebuild my life that is already falling apart, broken and I cant fix it.
When my strength end, here His begin.
I am just keep repeating everything, and I know, for the last 5 years, I am never feel and be patient. The end result is I am losing everything.
So, I really hope after the event, which is next week, I am really can be wise enough to make every step in my life. I really have nobody left anymore too. I just wish and hope that I can do better, be wise like I say to myself but I am never done.
O also being something. I know she wouldnt help but I am just begging and begging, and that is OK. Its gonna be something that I will remember until the end. I dont know what it is or what will happen next, but I know that if I am not dead yet, God plan is still on the way.
