Where this Road Gonna END

Time passby, now is my 10 day inThailand, and I still surviving.
I wondering, should I flight back, or should I stay in other country and pretend I am working.
I didnt know how this road gonna end.

If I can choose, I really didnt want to be back working in scam company.
I just want a place that I can stay, enjoy day by day, and earning money by my own work, no more and no less.

Now I am in Chiang Mai, and I already went to Chiang Rai, which I think I not gonna be back to there anymore, even there is some place that I really want to visit.

I being friend with a Thai grab boy, which I think he gonna be good friend.
We decided to go together to some place, and turn out, he ask me around 800b when we reach back hotel.
I told him, that I will give 500b, and all he say is like he didnt want any payment.

Well, lesson always learned, isnt it ?
Cost for fuel, food, entry ticket and pay another 800b, I am bit regret because if I know, I prefer to had a tour which is buss and totally only cost me 1500b.

I buying many stuff, including new bag, new laptop as well.
Its been 3 years that I didnt had laptop, and can get one make me very happy because finally I can write many things and save many things as well.

So, if today I make a bing mistake by buying gold, then I will lost 400$, which actually mean a lot for me in my travelling state.
There is always something that will be gone and earn, and everything is always have a risk in it.

Can I survive if I lost $500 today ?
I am bit wondering as well.
So, at least, lesson always learn in the end of the day.

How wonderful to start a day with the losing of survival money, isnt it ?
Just wish and hope its not happen.
Staying without room and work, can you imagine how stress it could be ?

What is most important from it all, is that I really didnt know what to do, and where this road gonna lead me into the edge and end.
Just when I think I meet someone nice, turn out, it was a bussiness purpose.

Am I destinate to be born and spend my whole life alone ?
Whatever it is, since there is nothing I can do, I just like let it be ?