Welcoming New Year of My Life

Time surely pass like nothing happen, except the fact that mom is not being any better and feel like back into the first momment before she went into doctor. Its sad, for real.

I already book everything for my travel to Bangkok, which I didnt sure yet about when the work gonna start, or how sure I am to join the work again.
Am I even gonna be survive ?

Earning $100 everyday from Monday – Friday, my birthday seem like bloodbath because of gold that falling a lot. Gonna make it out, or gonna missing out, I am wondering.
This 34 birthday, at least some people say for me, and I went for lunch with Carrot mom and dad.

Nothing too personal, nothing new and same old alone as well.
Plan to go Starbuck, claim my cake, order my hot coffee and chill for the day before flight.
Isnt life is so lonely in so many ways ?

Its so sad, to see mom in this situations.
As for me, I want to be with her, but I also cant take it any longer.
I am wonder, if I go right now, is that a good decisions that I ever make ?

Is my birthday will be a good day, or gonna be a distarter for me as well ?
I am wondering, what happen if the gold keep drop and my $1000 is gone ?
How can I make it when I reach Bangkok ?

I losing all my money when I selling gold, and now I am buying it and the price is just crash.
Maybe its time to take a pause for a while in there ?
We absolutely cant make a profit everyday, because its feel like the market not even care about your situations at all.

What I been thinking a lot is am I gonna give GC my card, or should I hold back that tought, since we just a friend, a little liar friend and I dont even know what is her purpose at all.
Even a story that I didnt had at all as well.

So, rather than think a things that not even happen yet, I want to spend today by going for lunch with Carrot mom and dad, spend time and be happy because for the first time maybe, I can go get lunch in my birthday.