Almost A Week Pass

Another week almost pass since the time that I back home.
Never expect 5 day will passto not doing anything, and it feel so long.
I am wonder, can I really change my life and do better everyday ?

Mom is being sleeping since afternoon around 4pm++
I think she gonna be wake up all night but who know, maybe she can sleep well again.
She must be tired after talking all day long, and it is kinda sad, seeing her like that.

From all the people that I beg for, the only one that help me is Merry, which I am so grateful for the kindness. Now I can have a little income, and thank Gods, some apps also approved me. I kinda shock, actually, feeling like it was not real, but it is real.

I plan to had a trip in the end of month, which I wanna meet someone, but I am questioning myself, is that worth it ? Beside for holiday, am I gonna survive out there, travelling and spend some money to rent a place to stay and do some writing ?

Starting small doesnt kill me.
Be patient, keep doing goood and see the result.
Rushing things only bring pain and hurt and worried.
I try to change the ways of how I doing things, and today I can earn a bit better than I expected.

Rely my life in writing and some trade, I wish that I can earn 100 everyday, in a slow ways. No rush, do it slow and save up.
Can I really make it ?
Sometimes, I doubt myself more than I can trust myself as well.

Seem like past trauma hit me hard, and I wish that I really not repeat the past history anymore.