IF, I Never Start

Being lose for 7 years and losing everything, forex really change my life into worse. NO matter how much that I learn and keep telling myself, its seem like I am the one who running myself and future in that.

Up until today, I keep facing the same things over and over, which make me wonder, if covid never happen, if I never start it at all, would my life being different now ?

7 years, losing everything and everyone, I really want to quit but I didnt want to quit at all.
Deep down, I do believe that everything will be OK again, if I can change what I been doing, be less greedy and wise, I believe everything will really be OK.

So, I will wait until this 15, and lets see how things goes from that momment.
Still 7 person there to be paid, even they didnt asking me to pay them quickly, I just want this to be end, and be the whole new me as much as I can.

And this time, all my life is has been put in this last time that I can do deposit and I wish I can really be wise enough to earn and not facing the same lose again. NO MORE MC !!