Is This A Right Decisions ?

Today my passport is done and I buy a ticket to Bangkok.
Which honestly, I have no idea why I going there, just to meet a friend, which I am not sure what I am gonna do next as well.

Take mom to hospital, she is very mess and seem like back to zero progress like the first time we meet Dr Duma. Its kinda sad, she mad, she talk almost all day, and she is being a different person.
I am wonder, am I making a mistake by taking a trip again ?

Having headache, but one things for sure is I finaly get my period even it was late.
There is nothing more that I can do in Pekanbaru, which I only spend day by writing, eating, earning some money as well.
The target is $50 – 100 a day, which I hope I can get it and survive.
I not even sure am I gonna be back working if the work is resume as wel.

I want to spend my time with mom, but I am so boring and I dont know how to express myself as well.
I kind of scare about what gonna happen, but taking step when I am on this state, am I making a right choices ? I am wondering all around.

I really want to make it big, rather than being in home and no progress at all.
If I stay and work in normal company, which get me a litle salary, I prefer to go far aways and have a journey in it. Beside, I can also write a lot, even nobody read it yet.

Am I scare ?
I scare pretty much, but I dare myself to take a bag and going.
I never know what gonna happen, but one things for sure that I know until today is,
“God is good and bless me until today”

He promise me future, in my low time and hopeless momment.
At that rate, I know what He say is not only a promise, but a certainty.
So, wherever I go, I do believe that God bless all my ways, and everything had their own time and reason.

Am I scare, of am I brave ?
I am the only one that decided to take a step, and the rest is like… Let God guide me along the ways.