Like Rihanna Song

Time surely flies very fast. The end of years is nearby, and yet I still here, the same.
Remember about what happen last years, when I was in Cambodia, trying to survive on my own, leaving my mom alone in here.

What do I gain after 1 years ?
There is nothing much happen and change. Fix some problem, create another one, still try to figure out how to make life better, but this time, I do it slowly.

Having someone to support me, even I deceived her a lot. I do wish that I can repay all of her kindness in future.
Still 7 people left, but I do believe that I can make it done. It may take time, but I believe that I will.

Mom always sleep lately. She eating, sleeping.
I am wonder, what is on her mind ?

Pasti berat jadi dia, yang dari sejak muda menanggung begitu banyak beban buat besarin anaknya, yang turn out malah ga bisa sayang sama dia sampai titik dimana dia alzheimer, and hidup membuatku sadar akan setiap kesalahanku.

Losing a lot of people not make me sad anymore, but surely I am so happy because finally I do know what is best for me.
Spending a lot of time to those who only been there when life is easier, after I hit the fall and bottom of life, I still can breath, trying again slowly.

The person that support me, turn out is the person that not really near with me.
Isnt life is always full of suprise ?
Its felt like, the light come from the hopeless place, like Rihanna song.

The more that I rush, the more that I losing things.
$600 can be $0 in a week, and $120 can be $600 in a week.
What make it happen ?
Patient, not greedy.

Those 7 people is already kind enough to say its okay to build myself first.
So, all left for me is trying to make things better, even it was slowly, rather than rushing and losing, I decided to do it slowly.

I dont pray for a nice life,
But, I do pray for the wise self, so I didnt take actions based on emotional.

Remain calm in strom,
Being wise when greedy felt come.

No matter how slow it would take, I will make it out.
This time, this chances. I just want to be better and fix what I been lose for 7 years, slowly.