Sad, but didn’t know how to say it.
Mad, but didn’t know if that is right.
Lonely, but didn’t know what to do.
I wanna scream, I wanna say it out loud, but I didn’t know if that is wise.
I wanna cry, I wanna mad and feel sad, but I know that is a choice.
I never ask for something that I can’t get easier.
All I always wish and wanted in my whole life is just someone who can look into my heart and know that I am so lonely all of my whole life.
All I ever wanted is like a dream that I can reach but not feel real.
Its look so close to me but actually it feel so far from me.
Don’t wanna be selfish, but its kill me.
Don’t wanna be the right one, but its haunt me.
Don’t wanna looked sad, but its show.
Don’t wanna say it, but its make me create a distance.
Don’t wanna be honest, but its nothing if there’s all a lie.
Don’t wanna look lonely, but its feel.. empty.
Then I started to asking my self a questions,
“What I am searching for ?”
I keep everything inside me for so long.
When I try to opened up, It’s just hurt people.
Why it’s so hard to find someone that can understand what I felt without I saying it first ?
Why it’s so hard to find someone who know when I needed them the most when I had my hard time.
Why it’s so hard just to have a warm hug.
and Why it’s so hard to feel normal like other people.
