Am I the Problem ?

I see her status, which say “Just need time” with a broken heart emoji.
Honestly, I really want to ask around about her, or texting her, but I dont think it could be wise to do so. I try to open a conversations by asking 2 time yesterday about client, and she just reply “1” as a code on work. She not saying anything at all. So, its seem like she didnt want to talk with me.

Today, Lyn didnt come to work. Some HR pick my number and then delete it, and what suprise me is, She pick my number even without I am asking the group. Is that some gesture or a friendly kindness ? Or just because of work relate ?

I put a crying emoji when I received her client, and even I want to talk a lot with her, I just didnt do it because, I dont know. I just wait her to talk with me first, it is better and best since she is only reply everything that relate to work. Now is just 4PM, still a long time to be pass.

Today was quiet lonely, even I can make some money. This is the first time I can reach 10k+ and well, I wish I can talk with her as well, but it is seem impossible until I went back.
Got my period, and to be honest, it was so lonely in here.

Didnt had anyone to talk, seeing her and wishing she still here until her birthday, am I so lonely and stupid ?
I am more than happy right now to enjoy my love and like to her. I am wonder, what is inside her mind, when she seeing me and not talk with me ?

She not even look at my status at all. So, I just keep all the feeling, not talk much about personal things as well. What gonna happen next, I am wonder. I wish I can do well, and get back as the new me.

Can I had someone that care and will love me without any hidden agenda ?
Or it was me, and my karma that make me spend my whole life in this loneliness.
Sometimes, I feel that is like me cant fit in into society. So, it is what it is.

Another is about to pass, now 2 old local is added to HR. I ask her about some work, and she reply me with very cold and rude ways, which I dont know why she doing that. But, some people say it was not rude at all. I ask her to check some client, and she scream from her place which I can hear. And later she reply me, “Why me check ?” and send the screenshoot and say “check yourself” which mean rude for me.

Why she mad at me, what happen ?
Seriously I just had no idea at all. I think in this case, the best things that I can do is protect myself, talk less and maybe, just maybe… I will lose all the feeling to the person who didnt respect me like that.

Should I delete her contact ?
She not even see my status anymore, and by how she reply me, it is already mean more than enough to let go of people who cant respect one to another.

I already give her 3 time chances to start a conversations, and what happen today is kinda rude for me.
So, I wouldnt talk with her anymore, and I will not do anything until she talk herself. How can I manage ? I will manage it no matter what happen. My head is keep repeating what it supposed to mean by her reply, but I think since her english is bad, “check youself” is normal word and not mad. And why should I care about it ?
So, I already delete her chat, and now thinking the way of how I will not seem her story as well in telegram.

Deleting her account from my personal is not wise and adult. By choosing to start ignore her, its mean I choose myself as well. If there is no feedback and respect, why I am always become the only one who try ?
At least, at a very least, I want to find someone that choose me no matter what it is.

I am done being kind, I will do normal. If she wanna talk, she will talk. If she hate me because of whatever the fuck happen, then let her be. Being the only one who care is sick. I am so done with it, and I really want to be a new me in 2026. STOP chasing someone who didnt choose you. And what is a good new is, tomorrow she is taking off.

I had one day for totally recovery myself and not seeing her. I will start to forget her, especially after I already try 3 time to make conversations with her as well.