Its been a very long time since the last time I am going to left home, and now it is less than 1 week before I am leaving, again. And this time, I am gonna make it big and comeback as a better person. Really hope for that.
Its sad, looking at mom who cant do something normal. She is healthy, but her brain is not. She had alzheimer dementia, which I am scare when the time I am coming back, she may not remember me anymore.
But, if I keep staying with her, I may never be better.
I dont know what is gonna happen to me for real. Am I getting trap with Lyn, or everything is just good as long as what I wanna do is to get a better life.
I dont know and I dont want to think a lot of bad things about it, I just want to keep my positive mind in it.
Its less than 1 week, and I am not ready enough. I dont know what is what, but I do believe that if that is a good things for me, then God will help me get through it all, and when it is not good for me, may God help me find a ways out so I can do better in other ways.
I want to make things clear, and I wish everything is good while I am gone.
I know dad and brother can be rude to mom, but I really wish that mom will doing ok too.
I am scare, but I need to live my life too.
I am losing happiness long enough, and its better to do something.
Even it was scary, it always better when die trying rather than complain and keep in the same circle without any solutions.
What is gonna happen next ?
I dont know and I dont want to think any bad things, with a hope to do better and everything happen is for a good cause.
I just want a chance to start over, fix my mistake and live my life with more happiness, and wishing my parent will be proud of me in the future as well.
