Ita Friday, and look liks I may sell this phone in Monday, again.
I am asking around, and there is nobody anymore to be asked for, so, with this last 80$, can I make it better ?
I am wonder, how more deep that I am willing to allowed ?
I have no pride anymore, I am begging here and there, and that is it, the only things that I have, maybe I will sell it, again and look how my brother judge me later, I think that I am really having enough of it.
Its so tired, and I dont know anymore.
Its better if I am book the room, buy sleep pill and try to kill myself ?
I am so tired, and my life is so meaningless, while God still love me, and allow me to wake up each day. I hate who I am become and I hate everything from the past 6 years.
Its like, more I try to make it better, more I just sink into deeper darkness, and in the end, all I know is that I am all alone, and nobody will be there anymore for me. I cant ask dad or brother, I cant ask uncle too, I have no friend to asking anymore too.
Its so dark, and its hurtful.
Alive but feeling unalive, and looking at a weak mom make my heart broken. I cant turn back time, and I dont know how to keep walking in this path. I am not beauty, I have a lot of flaw, and nobody is really care about me too. Why I am still alive, I am wonder.
Whatever gonna happen today, I just wish that I can passed it and keep my phone with me. The only things that can make me feel a little better, the only things that I have in my 33s old life.
So, whats gonna happen next ? I am wonder.
