Nothing much that I can say and tell about my day, I am still surviving, and knowing that is already being more than enough for me. I can pay internet today, and I still have a little money in pocket.
Also, there is some money to do some bussiness.
Its kinda sad, when I cant join KTB fest, but I know that is also will be for the best. I dont need to meet some people which I owe money, I beg and try to borrow and more. And I really wish, starting now I can really pay them off bit by bit and one by one too.
I hope mom still health, so do dad.
Wish that I can buy a second car, take them in trip. Its sad, to take mom with bike, in hot weather, she will be exhauted more than I know.
If I am being honest, there is a lot of regret that I feel and its all in the past. I know that regret for it will not change everything now, so, I just want to live with it, make it become a lesson and really try not to over react, stay calm and trust everything in God.
Its gonna be a long way to fix what I am broke, but as long as I keep walk in faith, I really wish that everything will be OK. Its not gonna be easy, but it will be worth it because there is a lot of value lesson that I learn and I wish I am not repeat what I am done before.
Until today, still 4ku didnt contact me, didnt chat me or dad. I know that I may make his mad a lot, also in pain and sad. I want to repay him, and wish things can be back into normal, again.
But, I cant repay him now, and all I wish is that I can be a better person, because this years will be end sooner too.
Its sad, actually. When he come and not telling me anything. Not invite me to go into graveyard too.
But, I know its because of my own mistake too, so it is what it is, isnt it ?
I just wish that I can do things better in future and be someone that have value.
Thanks God, to love me more than I know and think.
to never let go of my hand, even when I am not loving myself, and tired enough.
This morning, I went to breakfast and brother come along. We sit in different table, I dont know the reason why, but its feel strange.
Like, we dont know each other, or he is too shy to sit with me ?
Whatever it is, can do small things like paying his meal after a very big disappointed things I do to him ?
I wish slowly, and surely, I can repay everything.
Its like a broken glass, and no matter how I try to fix it, even it back to be a glass, it will not be the same anymore.
So, I just really try to do my best to fix everything, and thanks God, to still love me and accept me no matter how many sins that I made.
