I told myself everyday that I cannot compare myself with other people because life is different. More time goes by, more I make a lot mistake and try to fix it. I never face a big problem like today and I didn’t know how to tell it to other people except trust in God.
I wanna changes, I wanna be better and I didn’t know that I make things worse. I drown pretty deep and if people come and tell me to ask my family for help ? Trust me, it didn’t work that way. Everyday they fight each other. Mom who always have her fantasy and dad who getting mad easily and full of negative thinking ?
Brother ? I don’t think soo..
I become jealous when I see other people. They can talk to their family and no matter how big the mistake they make. The family always forgive and help them out. For me, talking is just waste of time and energy. I also didn’t have anyone to talk or asking help because people see me as a perfect person, not a broken one.
I am so tired, I wanna be at home but my home feel not home. I wanna have a family to talk but there is no one else to be trust. I really pissed about my self but I can’t do anything about it. I am all alone and I just want a little peace. I wanna feel normal, I wanna get out from this mess and I really want to have another chances to be better and better.
I know that God is really good to me. He help me and never give me something that I can’t handle. I never doubt about the love that He show me even I am not really talk to him. I know God exist and I know deep down, He always help me using other people hand.
I am always be thankful for that.
I just want to be a better person and I am is the only one who can help my self get pass it. I am is the only one who can be better and filter all the bad energy inside my home. I may hate it pretty much right now but I know there is a reason why I been putting in there and I know there is nothing more worse because God alwayss give me a lesson in every problem.
I must be strong, I keep my faith and hope and I can be a better me.
