Its me, pass over 2 year losing my car and world. Its me, more than 5 years keep losing everything. With a lot of debts, no friend and no asset. Jobless and now turning 33 fucking years old.
How could this website still can be open ? Its due and I am not paying it yet. I dont know if this website will disappears soon, and I am not scare if it is me who is disappears for good. I am too much to be a burden anymore to anyone.
I asking brother, he decline to help me no matter what it is. The trust is broken deep enough even for asking help anymore. And dad ? He know that I will take money from him and just say nohting. How I come to him and ask again ?
Ako is mad, but will send money to dad as well. I am asking help from her, and she telling dad, and give it to dad. I should know that would happn, but all I do is keep doing the mistake over and over again.
Out of pity, Anson give me 500k, saying that is the amount he allow to lose, like I am not gonna pay back to him. I know that is not his fault to because I just keep harassing him each day. I am such a loser and I hate myself for it.
Merry text me late night, asking to repay her 300k.
The first time that I got the chat like that, and I really wonder, is she is that scare of me ?
I say end of month, but honestly, I am just have no any idea about that too.
What should I do today ?
I really want to asking dad, but I am to scare to do that too.
Tuesday is my mom date with doctor, I will ask for some extra medicine, which I know it may kill me for OD.
Have a loving parent, which I cant think and love back until it was too late too.
What can I do God ?
Should I get out from this room, coming to dad and say, can you please take money for me ?
Ah, his card getting block away, it will cause him more mad at me in the end.
Now Ihave 70k, thank to Anson that pity me yesterday.
Sundari reject me and I am not asking her no more.
I am asking nobody no more, actually.
Can I really get pass of this 33 ?
Can I get pass this month ?
I am wonder, I really wonder. Who I am and what I can do to make things better ?
I am just a liar and loser without anybody there to help.
