Wouldnt Fail this Time

Day by day pass, I finally can get through all day until tomorrow, 15 date come, which mean that is the day that I finally earn my salary again.
With some comissions and cut some advance, I still had around $400 and decided to put $300 in it.

I didnt had any plan to be fail and be greedy and lose everything again. All I wish is this time, I really learn from all my mistake, and move fowards to be better person. Can I catch up with $160 that I lose this month ?

Also, I try to earn another $200 from some client, which I not really sure but I hope he really give it to me last time as well.
Brother finally didnt force me to take care of mother, which I wish that I can oay off my Tpay and flight in my birthday month as well next years.

There is a lot of things that I wanna do in my life, and even I didnt know what is gonna happen next time, I really wish that I didint keep the same mistake for almost 7 years and really can see the bright result of the hard train, frustations, tear, pain and losing.

I dont want to keep working in this field, and I do hope that I save enough and earn enough to help me get out from this kind of work, and really make my life more better in future.
I dont want to keep living in sins like this.

Can I do it ?
Or maybe I was born to keep living like this ?

No matter what happen, I do believe that everything happen is for reason, and whatever it is, I do believe in myself and decided to not quit and just keep trying over and over again until I make it out.