Give Up ?

Another day was passed, now I had a fish in my room.
Mom is a little good today, she eat and drink her meds, and now while I am writing, she sleeping in my room.

Yesterday Merry help me again, and I losing $100 again that make me start to questioning myself.
If I didnt start this from 2020, what my life gonna be right now ?
I am wonder, is things gonna change at all ?

Today I try to make some money from the client to my own account, which I am bit scare but also I not sure am I gonna get it or not at all at this point. Am I gonna be safe ?

Still 16 day to be pass until salary day, and if I didnt change the things that I do, did my life gonna be any different ?
I am wonder, when I gonna be give up for real ?