Its Monday, again.
And once again, I trying something stupid and make me losing my saving that I am starting to made little by little. Asking Fenny and Merry, and there is only Merry that help.
I dont blame Fen, because she already helping me a long way and a lot.
If I keep repeating this, if I keep drowning into this greedy that cause me lose everything, I just repeating everything and never get out from it.
I also sending chat to Ming, which I dont hope a lot because I know deep down, there is no reason he will help me again. Also my uncle, didnt speak anything with me until today too.
Every time I think about past, I regret a lot, and without I realize, there is already 2 years passed since I sell my car that I buy hardly.
What I want right now ? What I am thinking about ?
All I want is just pay off the debts, buy a car, having a laptop and be a good writer.
There is nothing more than that and I dont know how to make it happen.
I just, put all my trust in God hand.
Being jobless, spending time in front of pc and doing nothing except watching, write and looking at chart, my life become a meaningless and full of darkness.
I hate it, and I know some people also hate me too by it.
I really dont have any plan for future, but I wish that I can seel candle well, have my own little shop and live normal again. Its sound simple, but it will be a long way to reach it, since I am jobless.
Dreaming about become a great writer that can sell her word and become rich by it ?
Its just a dream, because all I do right now is telling my story in website, make some review and things like that.
One day or another day, I wish that I gonna find my breakthrough and become more stronger because these past 6 years is really hard to getting by, but I am still here, alive and writing it out.
