What about today ?
Today become the day that I really wish I had a car, so I can drive my mom far away. Enjoying more than 10 hours together with bro and mom, we use gocar and honestly, I have a lot of regret about everything.
Not like usual, we must go real far from home into the new hospital to do check up with mom. At first, we hestitate about it, but thanks God, things go well until the end. Tired, but we get fun, connect and good result for MRI.
We also learn and know what to do in next control, wishing everything is OK, but the brain seem not doing real well.
Still in fever, still not pay this web yet, wishing I can still write in here and pay it before the end of month.
I really hope that I am not make any new name into my board. I wish that I never do the same like the old circle, and I really wish, that I can earn money and pay off debts, buy a cash second handed car, and have time to make my parent proud. Nothing more matter than that now.
Its ashame, its sad about what I do lately. I really wish that I am not back into begging for help anymore, and I really want to show them, who look down at me, ignore me, and reject me, that life is full of suprises.
I am not mean something like revenge, but I really wish that I can be the best and better version of me. I want to start love myself even its just a little. I want to fix my problem bit by bit, and I want to try make everything right, not let the greedy take control of me.
I wish nothing, but God have mercy on me.
Because, when my power end, God is begin.
I really dont have anything, anyone anymore.
So, whatever gonna happen next, I put everything in God hand and just trust in Him about my life, my future, and everything about me.
