This is how its feel, waiting and scary about what is gonna happen next. Even 90% of our woried does not happen, still, thinking of it scare me a lot.
Dad doesnt talk anything, and Ako still doesnt chat anything. Maybe she sending it to dad, which he doesnt know and I am also doesnt know.
I think at same point, I am in a missing life. I am scare too much, because today may be the visit of some loan collector. I just hope may God open the way out, give me streng so I am not fall apart into darkness. The very last time asking help, wish it might be right.
I hate what I am doing. I really hate it until the very end. Ako say that I am harassing her, while I know is I just try to asking for help. Does dad know and chat Ako his bank account now ? I cant touch the phone too, make me more worries.
I just hope everything will turn out to be OK. If then Ako send it to dad, I wont ask dad for that. Its simply mean the very end of me, isnt it ?
I am ashame, and tired and that is it. I cant feel anything anymore at all.
I just wish, may God protect me and keep me save. I am jobless, I have a lot of debts and loan. And I really dont know what to do anymore. I wrack my own life, and I dont even know how to fix it to be better. May God give mercy.
