I mess up, again.
Well, I dont know what Monday will become, because there is a lot of thing that can happen. It can be better, it can be worse too.
End of May, this webstite gonna end sooner. I cant repay it on time, and does it even matter ? Because when things really goes side way, everything is just gone. My life, my story, and everything in it. Isnt it perfect ?
I texted Ao this morning, again.
I dont know what she thinking, she may hate me, she may telling other sibling, she may try to call dad, which I block her for a while too.
I have nobody to ask anymore. I also dont have friend and I dont want to tell my dad because I dont want to be a burden more than now. Is drinking a lot of xanax with any other pill will kill me when I already want to die so bad ?
I just wish that God help me get through all of it. I know that I am jobless. Beside, I am also dont have friend. I have my very last 200k and 37$, which if I screw it up, I will end up in bed and pill inside my stomach.
I am wonder, always thinking about dead, God may be mad and let tit happen too. I am tired of me, so I guess I am not blaming anything anymore. Can breath until 33 and have nothing left except the faith that I keep to build, what is my purpose of this life ?
Mom is old, cant do a lot of things.
Dad is old, and his dream is hoping that his child is success but I am just a burden and loser.
Looking at them, its sad, when I never have a time for them real well until today, when I am mess up my own life.
What is gonna happen in Monday ? I am wonder.
Whatever happen, I just need to keep do what I am doing, and in this rate, I am not thinking about texting Ako again anymore.
I just wish, that everything will turn out to be OK.
If things goes wrong, maybe then its time for me to go in another directions as well.
This website gonna be end up, the story will be wipe out. Nothing left anymore in the very end, isnt it ?
