I am hard to fall a sleep yesterday, but I sleep without drinking xanax. I drink headache pill and wake up every 20 or 30 minute. I thinking a lot, even I dont know is that worth to be think about or not.
Just, keep this live flowing.
I am so tired, yet I try and not complaining about it. I want to have a fresh start, where there is nobody know me, and I have no debt and so over. To make it happen, I need money too, isnt it ?
Its hard because I have nothing right now, except the trust that I am gonna make it one day.
Who to ask ? Nobody.
Pray, and in this hard time, I keep trusting that I am gonna make it, one way or another.
Talk about it with dad ? Oh, never happen again.
I just, dont think like that anymore.
Watching mom everyday, its sad me a lot.
She keep repeating everything, she talk nonsense sometimes, I been thinking, if I live long enough like her age, will I become the same like her ?
Its sad, to spend all day like that alone.
Dad didnt care about her, and she is really all alone. Make CV, sending it to many place and with friend help also, but no call coming. I just wish, that from this little 100$, I can buy what I need to make candle, pay debt bit by bit and hope June also have another event to sell my product.
So, what gonna happen, I am always wonder.
Its been 2 more years I am not working and I am still manage to live this life. I have a lot of dream and plan, and I lay it all to God. Wish that I can do and make better each day.
