Isnt life funny ? Or its simply tragedy ?
Its funny to see how I end up in Saturday night. If I can say freely, for over 15 years, I always going out in Saturday and back home late.
I remember how I wake up every morning, going to work and comeback home lately. I never care what my family eat and do, I just have my own world with poople that I think is friend, and turn out, in this last 5 years, everyone is gone slowly.
Am I sad ? Yes, I am sad. But I am also feel thankful because God still give me chance to redeem what I am do wrong in the past. My parent not young anymore, but still can talk to me well. I wish that I can rebuild my life and make them proud.
I dont know how, because all I have right now is my 100$ and a lot of dream inside my head. I trust in God because he already promise me that future is real, and I really wish that I can be strong enough to walk through every process in this life.
I still need sleeping pill to help me sleep. And I always think if.. if .. if …
But, I know that I cant change the past, and thinking about it just make me regret more and more, and I dont want that to be a reason I ruin my life by suicided.
Even I dont know how to turn around my life, I still make a plan. I wish that I can do and make all the plan come true. Really, I have no idea how it is gonna happen because I have nothing and no one, except my trust in God.
Isnt it funny ? or it is a tragedy that I create without learning anything about it ?
Well, for what is worth, I just want to keep trying and trying until the very end. This time, I trust everything in God and may God guide me through it until the very end.
