Is it fair if I wanna scream out loud that I am really on my limit right now ? I dont feel anything, I just let it floww day by day, without nobody except trusting everything in God plan. What it is ? I am wonder.
I made candle, a lot. Its all I have right now and may God bless everything that I am selling there too. First things is I wanna pay MCF first, and the rest ? I wish that I can get some more by doing the same things, but this time with different method.
I wish that I can get a kind grab car driver too. I dont wish to talk or have a friend in event, but I really hope that I can sell well, so I can start over again and replan everything. Is it ok and fair to asking little things like that, or it is a big things to be ask for ?
I hardly make and give time to my mom in the past, and now I am paying the price. I am not gonna saying that it is a karma that going on in my life, but I know that I learn a lot about it.
I am trying really hard to not lying for borrow money or get money anymore, its hard but I know as time passed, I can do it. All I need is a peace and quiet home, also no a brother that look at me like a crime and every word that out from his is rude enough to hurt me.
I cant feel anything anymore, but I really dont want the hurt come out from family. Its hard enough for me to stay on living, and I dont want to add more drama than what is already happen.
Isnt it fair enough to pray for that ?
A lot can happen in a month, and what happen to me ?
Mind is a more powerful things in life, and all I can do and wish is I can sell all my candle, pay debts on time and start a new life.
Isnt it amazing, when there is already 6 month passed without PAM, out of blue there is PAM again ? If there is not, I dont event know what I am gonna do. Nobody lend, nobody to ask, maybe its the end of my life.
With a space that I get, I have a hope. Is that the way that God answer my prayer in a unexpected ways. I pray that I am not beg anyone for borrow money anymore, and God not giving me someone kind to help me, but He gave me a chance to work and sell candle like I am used before.
So, I wish nothing but sell well, spend wise, pay on time and start a life bit by bit.
I wish that every month, there is gonna be a space to sell candle in PAM, and I can rebuild everything again. More wise, with God that hold me by my right hand.
