The first day of May, its look like I am repeat the circle. From so many people that I am asking, there is only Dedy, who sending me and saying that I am no need to pay back him. Also, there is Zuhra, who I ask her bank account but she not reply until this morning.
I am losing it all, again. But somehow, I just make it out. Kinda wonder how I can buy jar and some stuff that I need to sell candle. And now, from my latest 60usd, I wish that I can get some to repay my mototrcycle that due on 5.
At least, if its gonna be late, I wish that I can get the spot to selling candle, and I wish that I can sell it well too, so I can start, really start over again with more careful and wise decisions. Its really a long way, and when I am think about it, I already spend 5 years throwing my life into this mess.
Isnt it tired ? But I keep believe that God will give me a ways out, and he will help me get through all of it. I dont know how, but he will do that. He promises me that future is real and my dream will not be faded, so I claim it.
How it is even possible ? I am jobless, and everyday I am scare and fight for better me. I have nobody else to asking help, and all I can wish right now is that may I get the spot in PAM, can sell well and really this time, I am not fail again and again.
Because what ?
When I tried hard to get a little more, I am just losing big enough, and its torture me and feel like never end.
So, whats gonna happen next ?
I wish, I really wish that I can get through all of it and be a better me.
I really wish that I can be more more better and may God bless the rest of it.
