Its Friday again, the last day to get some money but I just lose some. If only I am not setting CL, maybe its not gonna happen but, whatever it is, keep thankful because I still can try to fix it.
In the very morning, asking Fenny again is kinda ashame. I just, really tired of this, and now I just decided to maybe, if I cant get it done on time, I just need to let it be. Because there is also a lot of things to do and pay for.
It may see like a happy life, when I am not working and just watching, writing, do nothing except try to get some money from my last money. isnt it sad ?
I have no friend, and every people on my phone list is scare of me.
Its almost 2 years pass since I selling my car. I really want to take mom for a ride, long ride with car, so she can sleep inside and not tired like riding with motorcycle with me. In my condition as a human, is that really hard to make it happen.
What is next ? Am I gonna get the terror from debcol again ?
Its scary, but I dont have any choices anymore. I just wish tonight I can get some extra, but if I am not ? It is what it is then.
I turn my life into a big hole of hell. I make everyone disappointed. More I try to fix, more I am losing it. Its just really tired, and lonely.
Mom is sleeping a long nap. She not have lunch yet and I am not gonna wake her up.
In her old time, the time that I waste a lot when I have everything, can I really at least make her happy ? Can I make my dad proud and not worries anymore ?
Can I really fix every broken piece in my life ?
