Its happen again, the same things again and again.
Its happen again, this time without any human help.
Its happen again, can I finish my story with happy ending ?
I am begging, I am asking around.
Each day, the circle is keep repeating.
Just one or two day for some peace.
Another ? Is a hell that I am living in.
Isnt it sad enough ?
Looking at my old parent, I am so ashame.
Wanna ask my bro ? Its not gonna happen.
A friend ? I am not have any, anymore.
Its cut really deep, I wish it could heal.
But, more I try to heal it, more I cut it deeply.
Until one day, I am bleeding a lot, then I am die.
God hold me by my right hand,
and my left hand keep doing the mistake, again and again.
I am wonder, can I stay still until the end ?
I cant ask anyone anymore.
Not family, not friend.
Begging ? I tried it already.
Scream inside from help, wish someone there.
But, there is only me, and how I keep my faith and trust in God.
Am I tired ?
I really am, because I really want to give up this time.
Until the very last, until there is nothing left except bad name.
I just want to make my parent proud.
I want to make them proud,
I want to fix my past mistake.
I want to spend more time with them.
But, I cant save my ownself.
God, have mercy.
I know its so hard to ask, and I know that you never tired or refuse to save me.
I am a big mess, yes I am a sinner too.
Am I proud ?
No, I am not.
I want to get out, I want to feel alive again.
I hate everything that I am doing, but I dont know what else to do anymore.
I am just a big mess, and I dont know how to get out and fix it anymore.
I am totally wreck, far away to be heal.
