When you’re poor, you’ll finally realize that the true horror is human. Jangankan orang lain, kadang family sendiri berasa lebih horror. And today, I am experience that. Its kinda hurtful but I am not having choices except asking.
Since I am not working, all I can do is write and hope one day I can get income from that. Even I dont know what is gonna happen next, I put all my trust in God, that He will fulfill all my needs and help me get through this hardship.
I know that I am not a good person, I make a lot of mistake in the past, and I am regret it. But, keep regreting wont change anything. I try to asking brother to pay this month internet bill, and all the word that I get is rude, very rude.
I dont want to ask, but I cant pay it this month because I am not having any money left. I already try to asking around too, but I dont get the help that I wish. I have no friend, and now even brother only say rude word.
I am thinking, if asking for internet bill this horror, what can happen if I am asking or borrow money from him, again ?
Better never do that, and I am only count on my last money left in my pocket.
Its Saturday, I want to take mom to somewhere with my 100k in bank account. I have 20k cash too. Where to go then ?
I dont want to drawn in sadness because of the rude word.
I am promises myself to never asking him anymore, especially about money. I dont want to get the rude word over and over, and he doesnt pay too. He always spend some and have some but more day passed, more he being rude to me, because I am poor and full of debts.
I am in my very bottom of life, and there is only way that I have, is to get up.
I cant get down more than now, and .. Even I dont know how, I believe that I am gonna make it. I will make it, because God hold me by my right hand. Never let it go.
