After my last post, I think that I am not gonna make it. I ask a lot of people and there is nobody there. I am mess, all I can think in Thursday is how to end my life after Sunday, or after Easter passed in the morning.
I have a plan to end my life in mall toilet, I will drink a lot of xanax because I am not have money to rent a room. Putus asa, malu dan lain sebagainya, I am not having faith anymore. Nobody help, I cant stole and its gonna be my very end.
Then I remember that I have one person that I meet in A&W. She come to me, saying she know my mom. I ask her to have coffee together and since then, we be friend. She is 60 years old. Talking to her feeling good.
How dare I am to asking her ?
Well, I asking her because she is the very last person that I am putting my hope up.
Then I pray to God, like this ..
“Dear God, if you’re really real and exist. Please help me.”
And you know what ?
She help me ! She say that she trust me and that is it.
Its the start to change my life, and I am starting over again.
I am not gonna keep repeating the same mistake again. I cant back to zero again because I am already minus. I am become greedy and I trying to not too anymore.
What is gonna happen ?
In good Friday, the day when Jesus die to save all of us. I talk to him. Real simple with all faith inside my heart.
“God, I dont know how. But I am gonna make it. You gonna take me into glory ! So, please help me. Never left me and hold me by my right hand.”
So that is it.
A hope, a new purpose.
I am gonna make it. I am not gonna die. I will survive because Jesus really die to save me. I am gonna make it.
