I am back to same old circle again. After a little taste of how good it is gonna be, I am back to zero and begging again. And I know, that now everyone is just scare and avoiding me. Even Fenny is scare and doesnt care anymore too.
I drink 2 sleep pill and 1 neozep, make me wanna sleep more and more. I am thinking, if I drink all the xanax that I save and sleep pill and some neozep, am I gonna wake up again ?
I am wonder, but I am not gonna do it now.
Still, doesnt matter how many time I am fall again and again, until there is nobody to help anymore, somehow I am keep surviving. I keep doing what I am doing, and I keep hoping that I am gonna make it out.
Arent you tired ?
Yes, I am tired. I am hate, I am sin, I dont have anybody else. And the beauty about is ?
God love me and hold me by my right hand.
Its almost 2 years pass since I am selling my car. I am starting to forget how nice it is to drive.
Losing my laptop, losing everything. Begging from one to another, and somehow I am still alive.
I am begging a lot to Carla, which I hate. And I am not hoping anymore.
I make it into 50 again, and .. Can I make it this time ?
Isnt it tired ?
With a little, I realy hope that I can fix everything. I am tired, I am mad and in pain. And I keep doing it because I still believe that I am gonna make it.
