Its all gone, and I really have nobody to ask anymore too.
What God plan for my life ? Because, I am so tired and I dont know how to deal with it anymore. Its so mess up and, what can I do then ?
I ask around, and I know that there will be nobody that can help me out too.
I know and I just trying to do that, because there is still a little fight in me.
I have 15 xanax, and thinking about drink it for end everything.
I tell my brother about how I sell candle in MP. When I back home in rainy day, all my dad say is how useless what I am selling. How I have a lot of debts and useless. How brother talk to me in night is also hurtful. I am mess up and full of pain and I dont know how to deal with it anymore.
I am thinking about ending things. Over money that I think no more than 150jt. Its small amount for rich people, but for me, its torture me a lot and I just feel that, everything is so dark. I ruin my life without knowing how to get out anymore.
I want to go selling candle, and I am thinking about my mom who stay with dad that always mad and say rude word to her. Its so bad, but I am also really depresi because of that too. Why everything so mess up and why I make my life ruin like this ?
Day by day passed, and I hate that I am still breathing, trying and hope for human that will help me, which I know they’re not anymore. I am just so mess up, and I dont know how to fix my life again.
Is ending everything is the right choices ?
I hope, when the time is come that I am choosing to ending everything, I am really gone and not comeback anymore.
Until then, I am still have a faith and hope in me, even it is just a slice of it.
Whatever it is, I just keep believe that I am gonna make it passed.
