I think my problem will pass sooner. And today I find out that someone who I ask for help, no helping me and start to talk about me to other people.
She might give me something, but… the rest of them ?
I still didnt know why she talk about it to other people.
To feel much better ? or what else ?
Rasanya begitu sesak didada, dan begitu menyebalkan. Kenapa ketika kita melakukan suatu perbuatan baik, semisalnya menolong orang, harus dibarengin sama menceritakan hal tersebut ?
Lalu, jika hal tersebut ternyata tidak benar, bukankah kebaikan yang dilakukan hanyalah menjadi sebuah fitnah dan merugikan orang lain ?
Berada dititik terkeras dan berusaha naik keatas perlahan. Sedikit demi sedikit jalanan dilewati. Aku menemukan bahwa didalam kehidupan ini, orang yang kita anggap baik, belum tentu baik adanya.
Ada yang membantu dikala kita susah, ada yang tidak membantu dan malah menjadikan kita bahan cerita.
Bagian yang manakah diri kita ?
Ada kesedihan yang tidak bisa aku ucapakan dengan bahasa. Ada begitu banyak hal yang rasanya ingin aku keluarkan dari lubuk hati terdalam. But, I know where I am now, and the only way to shut up people is be silent and work hard to make my life better. Isnt it ?
Dipermalukan, dianggap rendah dan dipandang sebelah mata.
I can handle all of it inside my heart. I mean, I am trying really hard to keep this life going, and people who doesnt know anything, just come and talk shit about me.
Memang aku merasa malu, aku juga pernah merasa tidak berdaya dan hanya bisa membiarkan orang – orang memandangku sesuka hati mereka. But..
This life is like a wheel. Semua akan berputar tanpa melihat waktu dan masalalu.
I choose to keep everything inside. What people say, what people think about me.
Its me, that fight really hard to become a better person each day.
Aku tidak tahu akan jadi seperti apa hidupku dimasa depan dan seterusnya.
But, all I know is that I can be someone who finally find happiness in the end.
I dont wish for easy way or journey.
I make a lot of mistake as a human, and what important is that I keep living until today.
Its Christmas night, I want to lit the candle on, pray and welcome Jesus Christ.
I want to find peace because I know, what people say, or think about me.
Its doesnt matter and I wont let it affect my life.
I really wish, I can start my 2025 with happiness.
I spend all years of regret and cry and a lot of sins.
I really want to be better, even I dont know what my future gonna be.
Aku gak mau membiarkan sedikit cerita kecil menghilangkan kebahagiaanku, menghancurkan hidupku dan hariku.
Its gonna be a good lesson to my life. Even I am not perfect, I believe that I was born to be a winner.
Maybe the road is still long and hard, but I want to walk every path with God beside me.
In the end, that is all the matter in my life.
