Its been a long time I never tell story in this blog.
Now I am using home computer, and while thinking I start to write there.
A little story about my 2024 that feel like hell, but also give me a lot to be thankful for.
As some of you know, my life is not OK, since I always make mistake that cause me lose almost everything in my life.
I keep leaning and wont give it up until today, keep believe that I can get better. Even my greedy make me lose everything. And here I am, having nothing.
I have a small bussiness, but its not longer exist anymore. I build it with someone that I think know me well, like me, and with her, I can be better person. At least, I wanna be better when I am with her.
Everything change when she meet a boy that make her felt in love. And less than a month, everything just falling apart.
What hurtful is, less than 2 month after we split, she already in relationship with that boy. Post a story together, like, she let everyone know. Also her family too.
Its just sad, when I am the one who still thinking about her, cry sometimes, while she is enjoy her new status and life.
She unfollow me 1 month after we split. I do the same too, because I just dont want her to remove me.
Its more than 2 month passed now, I am build again my candle mini shop, with tears, and still thinking about her sometimes. Many people come and go, I still wonder how she can do that to me.
Are she using me this whole time ?
When I remember how her mom text her in my last day there, its more hurtful than I think. I try to forgive and forget, but its really hurtful to me.
God is really good, because I get some new friend, and some of them help me a lot when I ask.
I dont know what is so special about her, I try to deal with it and not think about her anymore. She left me, she forget me, and she enjoy her new life. I am kinda different there, try to deal with a lot of things, and try to be better as well.
I really try my best, and I dont want to fail this time.
Losing a person and see a bad side of her, its kinda shock me. She become rude in the last time, treat me like nothing and I realize that, what she give this ehole time is nothing less than pretending. Pretend to like me, because in the end she say sorry that she make me think she like me. And pretend I am not different, while her mom text her, saying I am not normal.
I promise myself that I am gonna be OK. I want to focus on my problem, I want to be better.
I really wish that I can do better, have a life that I always wish.
I may not have many friend, I may have nothing.
But, I have a God, that always help me with unexpected person.
Miracle happen everyday. Never lose hope.
