Lamp in bedroom, sitting in the table like usual.
Looking for something that I am regretting again and again.
Wanna learn, never pratice.
Keep fall in the same mistake.
Again and again,
I lose myself in the dark.
How many time I am fall for the same mistake ?
How many time I promise myself and broke it again and again ?
Feeling tired, really tired.
Didnt have a joy anymore, didnt want to continue this life anymore.
I am the one who make those mistake,
How I pay that mistake ?
Giving up all my joy ?
That is the only way that I have,
I dont know what to do, I dont know how to fix many mistake.
Lose everything, and there is still someone there.
Didnt know the truth, because I am good at hiding it.
Nobody to talk, nobody to asking help.
Some people may listen, some may talking behind.
Some may help, and some may disappears, talking behind, laugh and happy.
Just wanna be better, really wanna be better.
I know that I am always wrong, I know that I may make mistake.
Is that really hard to get a better life by that ?
I am wonder, how can I still breathing until today ?
Meet a lot of new people,
Finding joy in simple way.
I think I wanna give up sooner, but I keep fight for what I believe in.
Am I wrong ?
Am I didnt have a right to be happy just once in my life ?
In the dark corner of my bedroom,
Writing some poet that I will remember one day.
Maybe this is the last time I have this laptop.
Maybe it just a beginning of my luck ?
Try hard to find my joy.
Try hard to not fuck up anymore.
Didnt know what to do,
Didnt know how to feel.
Joy,
I really wanna feel you.
Even it would be my last time, I really wanna smile, laugh out loud and be my whole self.
Even it was the last time.
