Dear God,
Didn’t want to complain but I feel so down lately.
Didn’t know how to express my feeling but I feel so dumb and tired.
I just didn’t know which way to go and what the choice that I must make to make me feel better anymore.
This is toxic and this is also a place that I can’t go like ghost.
Didn’t want to make people think bad about me, but deep down, I feel so tired after what happen and what will happen next.
I didn’t pray a lot and just because that, doesn’t mean I cant share something with you in there, right ?
There is a lot of problem lately and it was sad because in the end, all the problem just lead back to me.
I didn’t know what to do and how to telling the truth because people only see me as a liar or someone who try to protect someone else.
Maybe I am careless this whole time ?
Or maybe I trust to much to other people ?
I feel like a doll, you know ?
People pull a string on me and here I am, a doll that didn’t know what happen.
I am still didn’t trust what happen but that is happen.
I heard it by myself and I just… I took all the blame and there is nobody there to listen to me, to trust me or try to look at my side.
I am the boss here, I am the one who must take responsibility about what happen, no matter what I am doing, I am still wrong and I am the one who get the biggest blame from all of it.
Dear God,
If I have a second to cry without make anybody notice, then I will do it.
A quick tear that will dry and a different voice when I try to hide it. It show weakness even I know that it always be OK to cry. It help and it really make us feel better.
When mouth can’t say a word, then the eyes will tell.
The tear will drop and here you will see all the feeling inside one tear that falling apart from my cheek.
I am on the edge of my limit, can’t take it any longer.
Try to stay strong but I know that in some momment, I will break like a paper.
There is nothing people can do if I am already break. It seem like I will be the one who didn’t care anything anymore.
Too tired to keep hiding the real feeling, too tired to working like this.
Like I am the one who become a bad guys and stupid with the drama around me.
Dear God,
Please, give me some power to get through all of it. I didn’t ask for a easy way to get out but I only ask for some extra power. I didn’t look for miracle anymore and I don’t even wish for another thing. I just wish that I can get through all of it. Be kind and be great in the future.
They can blame me, they can hurt me but I know..
The judgement, the real judgement is only from You.
