While I am driving into my working place, I remember a lot about my past.
How I become like today,
What I am doing and how I still alive.
I never have a friend when I was a kid and I think everybody know it.
When I starting to have a friend, I think they are a really precious thing in my life. I do everything to keep them as a friend of mine without thinking about my self.
Yeah,
Maybe it was me that never have a friend before.
So, when I have ‘friend’ even just one, I think they are everything to me.
I try to be good and kind, and never realize that deep down, I make them scare about me that ‘being’ care and nice.
Well,
Time passed,
I learn a lot.
I always see that people betray me.
They left me or they just..
Look like they didn’t have a choice.
Force them to put me inside the group.
I didn’t know that exactly.
But, more I grow, more I realize that life and friendship didn’t work like that.
Sometimes,
We need to allow our self feel happy.
We need to relax and see what happen when we didn’t take a good care about our friend.
We need to disappears and see what happen.
People, who think that you’re their precious friend will show up when you just gone.
They will text you, ask about your life and some stuff.
But..
If there is nothing happen when you didn’t ask, then you know that you’re not their ‘only’ friend.
It’s sadly when you think someone was your friend, but the other think you’re nothing more than a people who ‘need’ a friend.
As a lonely person, I know that when we care about other, it is mean we are know how lonely we are without them.
It feel like they bring us a light in the dark but…
It just it…
You only friend..
In your own imaginasions..
Never feel the same like you feel.
Then, they’re not really your friend.
Because they didn’t care and they didn’t give a shit like you did to them.
It soo pity…
When we are become the one who always show up and care.
It so sad…
When you actually pretend to have a friend but they just left you behind.
More I grow,
More I know…
That what is matter is ourself !
We taking care about our self,
We didn’t pretend to have someone in our back,
We didn’t give a shit to people who doesn’t deserve it !
Here I am today,
I already grow and know where I stand.
People may betray me, but…
After a heartbreak, I got a power to stand up again.
Become careless and make my self as a priority, more we grow, more we know what is matter in our life.
Where you stand today, is your power.
You already feel pain, you cry and you finally can stand-up again !
That is all the matter !
