I rarely mad,
I rarely complain and making noise.
I pretend didnt see and hear when I am not want to make problem.
Then,
I see a lot of smoke,
I know what is wrong and that was the first time I want to complain.
He see my expresion and talk first.
Not really nice as a start but the other one seem angry.
Then, the talk happen with a big voice.
I try to be good and speak nicely,
But, I realize that the 2 of them try to stop me and seem scare.
Scare because know where they stand and didn’t want to make problem.
Hmmm,
Should I be sad ?
Should I be happy someone stop me ?
I dont know..
In my eyes,
I know he was scare,
She also scare.
I dont know why,
But…
The other one who get angry is also scare too..
I can fix it with a talk and prove but they didn’t let me…
It is sad,
When you want to do something for your right and the other just stop you because they are scare.
Ah.. I have a mess life.
I am not a hero,
I am not say that I am good and can fix problem.
But, what happen last night was a terrible happen.
Big smoke and eyes, and he said something bad and un-directions as well.
I know that I can make him stop,
But the 2 of them seem scare and didn’t want to continue as well.
Is that what we call a loser ?
I am not sad but I am mad for a little,
I am mad because he show what the loser is.
He can’t fight for hes right and that is a big why my life got into this mess too.
I am not blame him,
It is just him as well.
So, I didn’t know how to feel.
The other sad I am also feel sad.
I am sad because I live in this mess.
I am born from that and I can’t changes that because I know how they feel.
I pretend to be OK and keep everything inside.
I can’t talk how I feel,
I can’t share what I am thinking,
Because their mind is like that.
Can’t move foward to be better and right.
Too happy in where they stand,
Didn’t want to make something different to changes their life.
That is become a big reason why I wanna do something and getting far away as well.
So jealous to see other people,
Who can stand for their family and do what is right.
Not because they are the older so they always be right.
It is not that….
But, how can I put this ??
I am growing and changes mind,
I want to be a part of something and can’t took them with me.
It is like a dream when I finally do something.
Left for my good.
Or keep staying without any different.
Having 3 but doesn’t feel like that.
After working I been doing everything on my own.
I never talk my sadness,
Never share my happiness.
And that is me…
What happen that night make me realize that they can’t protect their own self.
They scare and can’t see what is right or not.
Always succumbing…
Always lay low…
Make live keep go on without any future plan and dream.
Ah !
That is how my life everyday……
Around the mess and can’t do anything……
The one who talk big and do nothing,
The one who say negative word everyday and still do nothing,
The one who mad easily, speak bad and do nothing.
And the one who can’t do anything about it.
Ah !
That is life..
And I still keep make it going on !
Still alive !
